In which Oreo has yet to regain any happiness or confidence -- Tuesday, Nov. 04, 2003, @ 6:07 p.m.

i don't know what's wrong with me. every time he wants to get off the phone, it feels like it must have been something i'd done. or maybe that there's something else he'd rather be doing.

why am i so insecure now? why am i constantly second guessing myself?

and why the fuck am i crying again? why does it matter so much whether or not he wants to talk to me, or whether or not he's got more important things to do?

why do i feel like such a bother, a nuisance, and an annoyance? i can't take it.

If I don't need you, then why am I crying on my bed?

I know, you have a party to go to. I know, I'm being stupid and I shouldn't be crying. Don't worry, I'll cry by myself again. I'll feel better by the time you're done. And then you won't have to deal with me.

You made a promise to him to be there. But I made a promise to be at Allie's, didn't I? But nevermind.

It's rather ironic. As soon as I got off the phone with him, Nick called. And I started bawling. Again.

Insecurities

Back and Forth