We were very advanced for our ages. Barbie had sex (though we never actually said sex, we called it something else. "S.X." perhaps? I don't remember), and Barbie had many, many children. She also had many lovers and admirers. Our games went like this:
It took us at least two hours to set everything up; we had to divide up the clothes and accessories, set up the houses and cars, and divide up the characters so that we knew who was in charge of playing with which doll. We each played a few good guys and a few villains.
The villains, most often, were a motley assortment of scalawags after only one thing. The male antagonists wanted to kidnap and marry the lovely leading ladies (which were always Allie and my favorite Barbies) and the no good females only wanted to kidnap the men (boyfriends of our favorite Barbies) and marry them. It was frightfully cliche and fairytell-esque, but we loved it regardless. The bad guys varied each game, except for four dolls who were always evil: a Beast Ken doll (from Beauty and the Beast) that I had massacred, a John Smith Ken doll (from Pocahontas), Mrs. Featherbutt (a random, ugly Barbie doll of mine), and Todd. Todd was the head honcho though he was only half the size of Barbie. He had a fetish for the tall ladies and his pasttimes including voyeurism and fondling sleeping women.
The heroes of the story started with two dolls: Pocahontas and Kokoum. They had two daughters who were always Allie and my favorite two dolls and, it seemed, each game we changed their names and personalities. The two daughters had boyfriends who, of course, were our favorite Ken dolls (Shavin' Fun Ken, anyone? Damn, he was fine!). Then there were several baby and toddler dolls. Sometimes they were children of Pocahontas and Kokoum (Allie and I both had very strong convictions about Kokoum and Pocahontas being together. It was meant to be!), sometimes they were the children of our main ladies. The funnest two characters to play, of course, were John Smith and Kokoum.
John Smith was always after Pocahontas, trying to get her to marry him. It never worked, of course, because Pocahontas was indeed enamored with the bronze-skinned hunk known as Kokoum. Alas, John Smith could never take a hint. He hatched scheme after scheme, trying everything from wooing to kidnapping Pocahontas. He might have succeeded if only he were a little smarter. I was usually the one to play John Smith.
Kokoum - oh goodness - he was by far the best. He hated John Smith, of course, and made no effort to hide the fact. He also did not know how to drive; every time he attempted to drive, he either ran the car off a cliff or ran something over, oftentimes John Smith. Kokoum had a secret weapon on his side: the Sponge of Death. If only I could explain exactly what that was, I would. However, I'm afraid that i would sound even crazier if I was to try and go into the Sponge of Death. So I won't.
The storyline for our Barbies was fairly typical for little girls. The Barbies were held captive by the perverted midget Todd, and their men rescued them. But oh, it was so much more than that. It was a vital part of my childhood. Our games were imaginative, sometimes provocative, and helped us cope with life as it unfolded around us. Bad day? Let's play Barbies and forget all about it, maybe name one of them after someone we hate and run them over with Barbie's convertible. It sounds silly, but because of Barbies I found one of the very few people that ever took the time to really get to know me. I found someone who I came to think of as my soul sister, my spiritual sibling that God forgot to give me, someone who understood me and accepted me for all that I was. Ever feel like maybe someone did much more for you than you ever did for them?
What I wouldn't do for one last game of Barbies.
Love you, Chica. 'Til the day I die, I'll always remember our Barbies and our house next door with the skywalk. And, no matter what happens, even if I don't talk to you for fifty years, you'll always be my soul sister.
Don't even try to interpret this. Allie will know.
Same story. Allie will understand.
Self-explanatory.
Tory